After traveling for almost a full day in the complete wrong direction to get into the main plains of Mulgore, a helpful if slightly creepy Troll shaman who lived in those hills set us off in the correct direction. Aside from the slight embarrassment I felt at not remembering the way out, I was in quite a cheerful mood. It meant we might actually be back in time for the dinner Cheesy had promised at 6. Besides, I felt Jen hadn't quite explained herself properly, and I would hate to feel guilty for her mother's worry.
Jen, on the other hand, was upset that we'd already wasted too much time and wanted to continue moving until we reached the next camp or passed out from exhaustion, whichever came first. I handled the situation as delicately as I could manage.
"We are damn well going back to your tent, Jen, whether you fucking like it or not. I don't see why you're bitching over this, it's fucking on the fucking way. We're going to go right past it on the way to...wherever the hell we're going (see, you don't even fucking know that, do you?) anyway. Besides, it's Tuesday. She makes lamb on Tuesday nights, you fucking know lamb is my favorite, God damn it!"
And so it was that we ended up right back home again. I poked at my dinner, sulking about my thwarted escape from home. Meanwhile, Kara had shifted to bear form, the better to eat entire lambs, and was shoveling food into her mouth as fast as she could swallow.
The next day, we decided that we needed to consult a few maps before heading out. This however meant going to the chief's cabin. He was all about Tauren pride, and one of my biggest opponents against becoming a rogue. I only escaped his full wrath by virtue of being the daughter of Cheesy Burger. We had to come up with a plan to get the maps without alerting him to our purpose.
*First we considered tunneling, but decided that would take too long. So then we decided on a more straight forward option, where we would just go in and ask for the maps. The excuse we planned to use was that we were having an argument about *where something was. The flaw, of course, was that Jen had never traveled or been taught any geography. **So, to make it seem more plausible, *Kara decided to tell him how much she wanted to* learn about Mulgore's* massive mountain ranges. We could therefore learn where the only valley leading in and out was.*
So the next day we approached the chief and presented him with this story. Looking at us slightly suspiciously, he ushered us into the side room of his tent. After he left the room, I reached into the basket for a map, only to stop short at Jen's sudden intake of breath. She was staring, wide-eyed, at* a small, oddly glowing thing half covered in a basket.* It was a *kind of blowfish that** had somehow not dried out despite being on land. I wasn't sure if it was alive, but* when we touched it wiggled and hooted feebly** causing Kara to shriek in startled terror.* I picked it up, and poked it again eliciting more hoots. "I think we should take it," I said grinning.*
*I really didn't see much of a point to carrying around a wiggling, glowing, hooting blowfish, but I shrugged anyway and turned to the maps. We figured out where to go and it didn't take long for us to realize we would have to leave pretty quickly if we wanted to get there before nightfall.
Trying not to show my excitement we walked calmly past the Chief to the sound of muffled hooting and made our escape. We had acquired the map* and a strange new magical creature, and we were finally off to start my journey.
22 comments:
And following the noble traditions of the adventure series....
Which is of course exactly what I expected.
Chapter two and we've already started a war. yay for us!
Also, as a side note. The blog doesn't like me. I seem to have done something terribly wrong to my birthday on the profile thingy. It thinks I'm 1921 years old and that I'm a rat on the eastern zodiac. Neither is true and the numbers on my profile are correct. o.O
Nevermind, I'm retarded, sorry. I put I was born in 86 AD rather than 1986. Thank you for wasting your time.
Thank you, that was quite an amusing waste of time. And yes, we're having a war, but they're fun. So, it's okay.
Man...why didn't we have it like...."excuse me, Chief, Jen wants to know where such-and-such is and I've forgotten, do you mind if we take a look at the maps?"
Unnecessary wars ftw~ They make me lol.
They are usefully delicious?
Please note I had to try really hard not to make that "Mulgore's massive hard-on".
Oh, that would have made (tried twice to say maid) perfect sense though.
Sorry, I just couldn't let a good war die too quickly.
Well, who am I to stop a war when it's going so strong?
Well done, deflecting that back at me.
Nice job avoiding the "a"
As a side note, I have a feeling this is going to be quite long. Look how much we've written so far and how little we've actually accomplished.
I think the war should be nearing its end unless you think of something. In any case, I don't know about you, but I'm not trying to be accomplished here. Just trying to display our "talent".
It looks like it's about over, yeah. And I don't know that I was precisely aiming to ACCOMPLISH anything with this story, unless keeping in touch/having fun with you counts as a goal. I guess it is, but the "plot" is completely unrelated.
Don't ask why it hooted, don't know, felt like saying that. Thank you for your time.
Was that supposed to have a period? because since it doesn't I'm making the sentence longer now.
Do you think glowing puffer fish/blowfish/fugu whatever you want to call it have special powers? You know, aside from hooting.
No idea. Also, yes it was supposed to have a period. I seem to have decided the * was good enough, apparently.
PS>Lots of margin notes for this chapter, holy shit.
What I heard in my head when I wrote that was a combination of the Zelda cdi "Here is the Map" and the "duh Duh DUH DUH!" when you get an item out of a big chest in ocarina of time.
Lots of Margin notes indeed. Because every other sentence needs some explanation or note.
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